I have realized a lot, a lot about life, about love, about friends.
I learned that, in life, it's not always going to be what you've pictured.
I didn't think I was going to be engaged, I didn't think I'd be commuting from the school I'm at now. I didn't think I'd still be working at Gram's store, I really didn't think I'd have the friends that I do have. I didn't think I'd lose touch with most of them, I didn't think I would ever see them in public and not talk to them. Everything in life isn't what I had pictured. And yet, I love it.
I love being engaged, I love commuting from school. Working at Gram's is a VERY hidden blessing. I'm glad my real friends stuck by me even though it's been two years since I graduated. I'm glad I let those people behind me so I could focus so much more on what is so important to me. I love my life.
I realized that love, isn't a fairy tale. At all. But it's all my own story.
I learned that I wont feel overwhelming love every single day, but I'm glad, because I am able to fall in love with the same person over and over again. I realized that once the honeymoon stage is over, you will fight. You will fight a lot. And that's ok, as long as you can laugh at and with each other later. As long as you can talk it out and fix it, not walk away. I never knew I could love someone so much and want to literally beat the heck out of them at the same time. I never knew I could get so angry and then just burst out into laughter.
I learned that it's ok to not spend every hour of every day with each other, it's ok to not text one another all day every day, even though it's fun. I realized that not everyone can sleep all cuddled up. In fact, I can't even sleep facing him. I can not sleep any other way than what I'm used to. And it's ok to not know exactly what you are doing. As long as you are doing it together. It's alright to not know what move you are going to make next, as long as you are beside each other, always, talking things out, fighting together, for each other. Loving each other.
I found out that I wont talk to my friends all day every day like I used to. I wont hang out with them as often, if at all. We have relationships, we have college, we have jobs, and other responsibilities. We faded. We lost most of our time together, we forgot most of our jokes and stories, but we remember each other. We don't forget those who influence our lives the way you did, we don't forget the feelings.
Even though it's not like it used to be, I still love them.
The thing I know now, more than ever, is that love drives everything we do. Without love, we wouldn't be happy with ourselves or with others. With where we are going in life. That life isn't always what we think or want it to be, but it turns into what is best for us, even when we don't think so.
Crazy, hectic, and beautiful, I love it.
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